I love the sound of the Latin language, especially when it's chanted.
I think everybody should chant in Latin. All the time. And it should always begin with "Carpe Cheesecake"
I think people who are overly fashion forward look like they just got punk'd...and still don't get it.
People are always going places...to the beach, to the store, to the top... I'm still not sure what all the fascination is with movement.
I am a fan of fanning.
Anthropomorphic is my new favorite word. Because it makes me sound smart. Just like an anthropomorph.
I enjoy being in the grey area of the spectrum
I'd like to get back into lap swimming but the inertia is kicking my ass.
All these phone calls are interrupting my fantasies about Randy Orton. I wish they would just stop.
The phone calls, not the fantasies. *sigh*
I wish I followed football so that I could go to football parties and not be the only completely clueless idiot there.
I can't watch football. Too many rules + too much "stop and go" = no parties. .
There's always something...
I need more books.
I need more cheesecake.
I need more focus (not on books or cheesecake)
The National Geographic channel pretty much rules. I mean, where else can you learn about desert dwelling tribes, 500 year old Italians vampires, and naked praying pagans back to back? Nat Geo, baby!
I am rather enjoying hedonism. Which is sort of like Paganism. Without all that naked praying stuff.
I think I watch too much TV...in fact, I'm pretty sure I do.
According to the Discovery Channel, dragonflies have such tiny brains that they are unable to process and analyze data like other animals (I know people like that). The reason they can fly in huge swarms and not hit each other is because they operate on instinct and reaction rather than thought. (I know people like that, too...minus the flying part)
Whoever said that TV rots your brain is a damn liar.
I've realized that my dream of being a professional world traveler is directly relational to the number of rich, unattached friends I have who are willing to take the journey with me.
I think I need new friends.
Or perhaps my relational skills are starting to fail me. *sigh* I blame the Nat Geo Channel.
You remind me of the babe. (What babe?) The babe with the power. (What power?) The power of voodoo. (Who do?) You do. (Do what?) Remind me of the babe.
No, I still don't know who the babe is.
Stupid call for the day:
CALLER: Yes, hello? I'm here (in the lobby) for my appointment.
ME: Okaaaay...
CALLER: So...should I come up?
ME: *OH.MY.GOD. Noooooo, stay down there. We'll tie a couple of tin cans together with some string, throw one out the window, and communicate that way.*
Yes, please. Third floor.
CALLER: How do I get there?
ME: *pause* THE ELEVATOR. Or the stairs, if you prefer.
CALLER: It says the elevator out of order.
ME: Fine. Then take the stairs.
CALLER: Third floor?
me: YESSS.
CALLER: I cannot take the stairs.
ME: *this should be good* Why not?
CALLER: My elbow hurts.
ME: *are you fuckin' serious?!*
Huh? What does that have to do with WALKING up the stairs?
CALLER: oh, because it hurts that's why, so I cannot walk...
ME: *because you're doing it on your fuckin' elbow?!*
Maybe you'd like to go back home (and start your day over) and call us when you're feeling a little better.
CALLER: Oh yeah. Because then no need stairs.
ME: Riiight. No need stairs...
* Although I suppose this IS slightly better than the guy who wanted to sue McDonalds because they gave him orange juice with too much PULP. I am so not cut out jobs requiring proper telephone etiquette*
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Religion of Love
This is a re-post of Tanya's latest blog (and if you've ever read any of MY blogs, you probably know who she is ;-). I wanted to share this because her thoughts on this matter pretty much mirror my thoughts, as well. Although I must say she is much better at staying on track and summarizing without rambling, as I am wont to do. Again, if you've read my blogs then, well...you know.
I love this poem, and I love this blog.
Because I am curious. Because I love learning. And because the only thing I know with all certainty is how much I DON'T know and will probably never understand in this lifetime, I try to remain open-minded to every possibility.
___________________________________
My heart has become capable of every form:
It is a pasture for gazelles,
And a monastery for Christian monks,
And a temple for idols,
And the Ka’aba of the pilgrims,
And the tablets of the Torah,
And the book of the Qur’an.
I follow the religion of love:
Whatever path Love’s camel takes,
That is my religion and my faith.
~Muhyiddin Ibn Arabi
I came across this poem while perusing Seane Corn's website in search of more information on Vinyasa Yoga and yoga programs for children here on Maui. Sidebar: there are no accessible classes for children of working parents and I think tdhat I may inquire to the YMCA about incorporating a program into the A+ program -- but I digress from my original thought flow for this blog. So ... like I said, I came across this translation of a poem by Ibn Arabi and fell in love with it immediately. Why? You may ask. Well I have been having what I can only describe as a war of thoughts lighting up my brain. I have been violently annoyed with the hypocrisy of the attendees of organized religion, the perversion of the messages of sacred tomes that serve as the cornerstones of the mainstream religions, the ignorance of the sheep who would follow the wolf blindly into the night. By the same token, I shake my head at the equal zealous adherence to scientific evolution and intolerance toward spirituality ... as if binary code alone could unlock the mystery of the universe and the existence thereof. It has been a push and pull of angel/devil arguments inside my brain as I peruse the evolution fan site on Facebook. Then yesterday, I guess I looked like a heathen in need of saving, for I was accosted in the parking lot of Safeway by two Mormon missionaries. I looked up into the heavens and inquired ... "Really God? Really?" Then today I found that poetry passage ... as if He, the Universe, She ... were telling me it's okay Tanya. Don't sweat it. It can be All.
In the words of the bloggess and De-Ann ... "Well played God. Well played."
I love this poem, and I love this blog.
Because I am curious. Because I love learning. And because the only thing I know with all certainty is how much I DON'T know and will probably never understand in this lifetime, I try to remain open-minded to every possibility.
___________________________________
My heart has become capable of every form:
It is a pasture for gazelles,
And a monastery for Christian monks,
And a temple for idols,
And the Ka’aba of the pilgrims,
And the tablets of the Torah,
And the book of the Qur’an.
I follow the religion of love:
Whatever path Love’s camel takes,
That is my religion and my faith.
~Muhyiddin Ibn Arabi
I came across this poem while perusing Seane Corn's website in search of more information on Vinyasa Yoga and yoga programs for children here on Maui. Sidebar: there are no accessible classes for children of working parents and I think tdhat I may inquire to the YMCA about incorporating a program into the A+ program -- but I digress from my original thought flow for this blog. So ... like I said, I came across this translation of a poem by Ibn Arabi and fell in love with it immediately. Why? You may ask. Well I have been having what I can only describe as a war of thoughts lighting up my brain. I have been violently annoyed with the hypocrisy of the attendees of organized religion, the perversion of the messages of sacred tomes that serve as the cornerstones of the mainstream religions, the ignorance of the sheep who would follow the wolf blindly into the night. By the same token, I shake my head at the equal zealous adherence to scientific evolution and intolerance toward spirituality ... as if binary code alone could unlock the mystery of the universe and the existence thereof. It has been a push and pull of angel/devil arguments inside my brain as I peruse the evolution fan site on Facebook. Then yesterday, I guess I looked like a heathen in need of saving, for I was accosted in the parking lot of Safeway by two Mormon missionaries. I looked up into the heavens and inquired ... "Really God? Really?" Then today I found that poetry passage ... as if He, the Universe, She ... were telling me it's okay Tanya. Don't sweat it. It can be All.
In the words of the bloggess and De-Ann ... "Well played God. Well played."
Monday, July 13, 2009
the Stackhouse chronicles
I love weekends. After all the noise of the work week, I can just relax and enjoy. Usually that includes a good book or a movie. This weekend was no different. Of course, I was still productive (hey, half-assed cleaning, getting my car fixed, and running a few errands count), but I was determined to finish the last few books in the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris, so that's exactly what I spent a lot of my free time doing. Time well spent, if you ask me.
I cannot emphasize how much I love a good story.
With these novels, Charlaine Harris creates a very entertaining and different style of writing where severe genres mesh and turn into a sort of 'Edward Cullen meets the wolf-man meets Cinderella meets The Brothers Grimm meets Clive Barker' kind of story. I swear that's not an exaggeration...
I was nowhere near as obsessed with this series as I was with the Twilight saga and although these books had a completely different feel and weren't quite as intense, they were still very good - sometimes making me laugh out loud, sometimes making me feel sorry for one character or another.
(Mostly Eric made me laugh, and I kept feeling sorry for Bill, even though I never thought Sookie should end up with him, despite his professed (excuse the pun) undying love for her, even tho he breaks her heart more than once. But that's for later...)
These Sookie Stackhouse novels are based on the life of Bon Temps, Louisiana barmaid and telepath, Sookie Stackhouse, whose "normal" human existence becomes interrupted when she falls for a vampire (Bill Compton) and finds herself becoming involved in not only their world but, through a series of circumstances and her unusual telepathic ability, a parallel world where all manner of creatures exist.
A story where your boss reveals himself as a shape-shifter (Collie is his favorite form), your great-grandfather magically and literally pops into your life and turns out to be one of the oldest most magical and powerful beings in existence, your love interests are a were-tiger and two vampires, a group of right wing "religious" human zealots hold you hostage and plot to have you burned alive then (on a completely separate occasion) detonate a bomb in the hotel you're staying at while in the midst of a vampire summit under the employ of the (undead vampire) queen of Louisiana, your roommate is a witch who can temporarily bring dead people back to life as ectoplasmic ghosts, your fairy godmother has to save you from a pack of werewolves trying to dismember you, and your former best friend sets you up to be crucified for simply being involved with the supernatural?
Now that's a story, people.
This isn't your kids' Disney fairy tales, but it is every bit as entertaining.
And thanks to HBO, whose original series "True Blood" is based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels, this story has been getting PLENTY of attention.
Nine books later, I am finally done with the series to date - at least until book 10 comes out next year (WTF?! HURRY UP!! ) - and am in the midst of following the HBO TV series via Netflix and partial, out of order youtube videos.
It's emotionally taxing being a fan sometimes...
A lot of people see this story as being love story between Sookie and Bill, but I don't get that entirely. I see it as being more of a story about a woman who desperately wants to feel and be normal in a world that is anything but that, and constantly tries to reconcile her feelings of what she wants with what she should do to cause as little pain as possible to herself and those around her. Plus, I think it has a lot more to do with how she feels about Eric (we'll get to him in a minute) than almost anything else.
Sookie Stackhouse is simple, small-town, and too trusting at times. But she's also bold, courageous and bound and determined to always do 'the right thing', which makes a good backdrop for some very interesting happenings.
During the course of the story, Sookie ends up romantically involved with several supernatural creatures: a were-tiger named Quinn, and two vampires: Bill Compton - the vamp who is also her closest neighbor and local area 5 vampire 'investigator', and Eric Northman - the area 5 'sheriff', owner of the vampire bar "Fangtasia", and (for all intents and purposes) Bill's boss.
Apparently, vampire politics is a complicated thing.
All three love Sookie, but find that loving her is sometimes a very dangerous feeling to have, in more ways than one. But most of all, the love triangle...well, quadrangle, I suppose...is effective is making its point on where the limits are in what you are willing to put up with in a relationship, what you can forgive and what you can't, even with those you love most, and how we all just want to feel safe, loved, important, and appreciated - quirks and all.
Personally, my favorite has always been Eric. Because...well.. he's Eric. Complicated, mysterious, powerful and charmingly addictive Eric.
Also? Somehow Sookie doesn't seem a perfect fit for Bill; he's a little too serious and possessive of her. Yes, he loves her and is willing to die for her (which he proves repeatedly), but he is a bit too old-fashioned for what she needs (Bill was 'turned' during the Civil War era). And he doesn't quite have the flare and playful sense of humor that Eric has, which makes Eric that much more appealing.
At least that's my take on it, although I'm sure many fans would disagree seeing as how Bill is such a prominent character in her life, even long after they've broken up. And I do have to say that his watching over her from a distance just to be sure she's safe at night, and the little comments or gestures he makes towards her from time to time are sweet, so points to him for that. Still, something is amiss in that relationship. Plus, she's mad at him a lot, which sort of kills the fizzle, tho Bill never stops loving Sookie.
I guess Eric isn't that much better in the sense of over-possessiveness and that whole "she is mine" thing that both he and Bill toss back and forth, but he goes about it in a slightly better thought out way. And he is always completely honest with Sookie, even if he thinks the truth may cause her pain. He is protective, yet he gives her the freedom she needs to feel independent, even tho his nature doesn't allow him to understand this entirely (he's a 1,000 year old viking, so one has to cut him some slack). In the interest of self-preservation, Eric loves Eric, but he also has Sookie's best interests at heart, even tho she doesn't always see it, and he loves her as much as he is capable of doing so...especially considering he sometimes has trouble remembering what human feelings are like (except for that time he lost his memory and stayed with Sookie for a while and fell completely in love with her. *sigh* Now THAT Eric was just too damn good to resist).
Even though at the heart of it this story revolves around love and relationships, it's also sort of a detective series...with a southern twist. Since Sookie is telepathic, that gift (or curse as she sees it) is used in many instances both with the human population and the supes (supernatural creatures and their communities) to solve crimes or find people gone missing.
There's a bunch of twists and turns throughout the story, and Sookie gets drawn into all kinds of trysts and investigations with the law due to her proximity to several violent crimes and her personal relationships with the victims or with her brother, Jason, who is nothing but a trouble magnet. But at the very least it makes her more decisive and stronger - both telepathically and emotionally (if not physically, because at the end she gets the shit worn out of her by two very baaad, un-Tinkerbell-like fairies and almost dies. Except Bill saves her. Again.)
The ending of "Dead and Gone" (book 9) is a little vague, but at least Sookie and Eric end up together. Sort of. Well, they end up married....kind of...at least in vampire terms, they're bonded (long story). Which by supernatural ruling means no other vampire or supe can have Sookie without Eric's say-so. And there ain't no way Eric's saying so. And when the strikingly beautiful and powerful viking vampire lays down the law, others listen.
That doesn't mean I'm entirely happy with the ending, tho. I mean - in what kind of story does the fairy godmother die?! Along with some really good and brave men. And what is up with Sookie just not being able to make up her mind about who she wants? It's pretty simple: Eric or Bill. Just pick already, jeezez! Although I have to say I can't blame her too much since they're both so enamored of her...and the more I think about it, the more I realize how good Bill is and how he would always put her first, without thinking twice. Unlike Quinn. And even (tho I dread saying it) Eric, though he does his best to always be there for her and protect her. It's just a little more...uh...complicated.
Crap.
Hopefully, with book 10, Niall, Sookie's fairy prince great-grandfather, makes a reappearance (because he's really cool and the fae world even more so) even tho he said he was closing the portals between worlds for good, and Sookie finally makes up her mind about whether or not she is willing to stay with and love Eric, or give Bill the second chance he's always wanted.
I just hope the were-tiger Quinn doesn't come back into the picture because I can see Sookie choosing him over the other two (undead) suitors, mostly because he would put her in the least amount of danger just by being around. But then it would be boring. And that would kind of suck. No pun intended.
Damn cats...
** NOTE **
Dear HBO: Thank you dearly for casting Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman.
Because even in the best of shows, gratuitous eye candy is always a welcomed and appreciated addition. And yes, I can totally be that shallow...
)
I cannot emphasize how much I love a good story.
With these novels, Charlaine Harris creates a very entertaining and different style of writing where severe genres mesh and turn into a sort of 'Edward Cullen meets the wolf-man meets Cinderella meets The Brothers Grimm meets Clive Barker' kind of story. I swear that's not an exaggeration...
I was nowhere near as obsessed with this series as I was with the Twilight saga and although these books had a completely different feel and weren't quite as intense, they were still very good - sometimes making me laugh out loud, sometimes making me feel sorry for one character or another.
(Mostly Eric made me laugh, and I kept feeling sorry for Bill, even though I never thought Sookie should end up with him, despite his professed (excuse the pun) undying love for her, even tho he breaks her heart more than once. But that's for later...)
These Sookie Stackhouse novels are based on the life of Bon Temps, Louisiana barmaid and telepath, Sookie Stackhouse, whose "normal" human existence becomes interrupted when she falls for a vampire (Bill Compton) and finds herself becoming involved in not only their world but, through a series of circumstances and her unusual telepathic ability, a parallel world where all manner of creatures exist.
A story where your boss reveals himself as a shape-shifter (Collie is his favorite form), your great-grandfather magically and literally pops into your life and turns out to be one of the oldest most magical and powerful beings in existence, your love interests are a were-tiger and two vampires, a group of right wing "religious" human zealots hold you hostage and plot to have you burned alive then (on a completely separate occasion) detonate a bomb in the hotel you're staying at while in the midst of a vampire summit under the employ of the (undead vampire) queen of Louisiana, your roommate is a witch who can temporarily bring dead people back to life as ectoplasmic ghosts, your fairy godmother has to save you from a pack of werewolves trying to dismember you, and your former best friend sets you up to be crucified for simply being involved with the supernatural?
Now that's a story, people.
This isn't your kids' Disney fairy tales, but it is every bit as entertaining.
And thanks to HBO, whose original series "True Blood" is based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels, this story has been getting PLENTY of attention.
Nine books later, I am finally done with the series to date - at least until book 10 comes out next year (WTF?! HURRY UP!! ) - and am in the midst of following the HBO TV series via Netflix and partial, out of order youtube videos.
It's emotionally taxing being a fan sometimes...
A lot of people see this story as being love story between Sookie and Bill, but I don't get that entirely. I see it as being more of a story about a woman who desperately wants to feel and be normal in a world that is anything but that, and constantly tries to reconcile her feelings of what she wants with what she should do to cause as little pain as possible to herself and those around her. Plus, I think it has a lot more to do with how she feels about Eric (we'll get to him in a minute) than almost anything else.
Sookie Stackhouse is simple, small-town, and too trusting at times. But she's also bold, courageous and bound and determined to always do 'the right thing', which makes a good backdrop for some very interesting happenings.
During the course of the story, Sookie ends up romantically involved with several supernatural creatures: a were-tiger named Quinn, and two vampires: Bill Compton - the vamp who is also her closest neighbor and local area 5 vampire 'investigator', and Eric Northman - the area 5 'sheriff', owner of the vampire bar "Fangtasia", and (for all intents and purposes) Bill's boss.
Apparently, vampire politics is a complicated thing.
All three love Sookie, but find that loving her is sometimes a very dangerous feeling to have, in more ways than one. But most of all, the love triangle...well, quadrangle, I suppose...is effective is making its point on where the limits are in what you are willing to put up with in a relationship, what you can forgive and what you can't, even with those you love most, and how we all just want to feel safe, loved, important, and appreciated - quirks and all.
Personally, my favorite has always been Eric. Because...well.. he's Eric. Complicated, mysterious, powerful and charmingly addictive Eric.
Also? Somehow Sookie doesn't seem a perfect fit for Bill; he's a little too serious and possessive of her. Yes, he loves her and is willing to die for her (which he proves repeatedly), but he is a bit too old-fashioned for what she needs (Bill was 'turned' during the Civil War era). And he doesn't quite have the flare and playful sense of humor that Eric has, which makes Eric that much more appealing.
At least that's my take on it, although I'm sure many fans would disagree seeing as how Bill is such a prominent character in her life, even long after they've broken up. And I do have to say that his watching over her from a distance just to be sure she's safe at night, and the little comments or gestures he makes towards her from time to time are sweet, so points to him for that. Still, something is amiss in that relationship. Plus, she's mad at him a lot, which sort of kills the fizzle, tho Bill never stops loving Sookie.
I guess Eric isn't that much better in the sense of over-possessiveness and that whole "she is mine" thing that both he and Bill toss back and forth, but he goes about it in a slightly better thought out way. And he is always completely honest with Sookie, even if he thinks the truth may cause her pain. He is protective, yet he gives her the freedom she needs to feel independent, even tho his nature doesn't allow him to understand this entirely (he's a 1,000 year old viking, so one has to cut him some slack). In the interest of self-preservation, Eric loves Eric, but he also has Sookie's best interests at heart, even tho she doesn't always see it, and he loves her as much as he is capable of doing so...especially considering he sometimes has trouble remembering what human feelings are like (except for that time he lost his memory and stayed with Sookie for a while and fell completely in love with her. *sigh* Now THAT Eric was just too damn good to resist).
Even though at the heart of it this story revolves around love and relationships, it's also sort of a detective series...with a southern twist. Since Sookie is telepathic, that gift (or curse as she sees it) is used in many instances both with the human population and the supes (supernatural creatures and their communities) to solve crimes or find people gone missing.
There's a bunch of twists and turns throughout the story, and Sookie gets drawn into all kinds of trysts and investigations with the law due to her proximity to several violent crimes and her personal relationships with the victims or with her brother, Jason, who is nothing but a trouble magnet. But at the very least it makes her more decisive and stronger - both telepathically and emotionally (if not physically, because at the end she gets the shit worn out of her by two very baaad, un-Tinkerbell-like fairies and almost dies. Except Bill saves her. Again.)
The ending of "Dead and Gone" (book 9) is a little vague, but at least Sookie and Eric end up together. Sort of. Well, they end up married....kind of...at least in vampire terms, they're bonded (long story). Which by supernatural ruling means no other vampire or supe can have Sookie without Eric's say-so. And there ain't no way Eric's saying so. And when the strikingly beautiful and powerful viking vampire lays down the law, others listen.
That doesn't mean I'm entirely happy with the ending, tho. I mean - in what kind of story does the fairy godmother die?! Along with some really good and brave men. And what is up with Sookie just not being able to make up her mind about who she wants? It's pretty simple: Eric or Bill. Just pick already, jeezez! Although I have to say I can't blame her too much since they're both so enamored of her...and the more I think about it, the more I realize how good Bill is and how he would always put her first, without thinking twice. Unlike Quinn. And even (tho I dread saying it) Eric, though he does his best to always be there for her and protect her. It's just a little more...uh...complicated.
Crap.
Hopefully, with book 10, Niall, Sookie's fairy prince great-grandfather, makes a reappearance (because he's really cool and the fae world even more so) even tho he said he was closing the portals between worlds for good, and Sookie finally makes up her mind about whether or not she is willing to stay with and love Eric, or give Bill the second chance he's always wanted.
I just hope the were-tiger Quinn doesn't come back into the picture because I can see Sookie choosing him over the other two (undead) suitors, mostly because he would put her in the least amount of danger just by being around. But then it would be boring. And that would kind of suck. No pun intended.
Damn cats...
** NOTE **
Dear HBO: Thank you dearly for casting Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman.
Because even in the best of shows, gratuitous eye candy is always a welcomed and appreciated addition. And yes, I can totally be that shallow...
)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Spies Like Me
So the other day, while watching the movie Taken with a friend, there were a couple of lines in the movie that made us think - man, those guys have had some really cool, interesting lives. (they were talking about conducting some kind of mission in a foreign country, or something like that) Which in turn, made us think about ourselves and our comfortable island lifestyles (read - lazy and laid back. Well, at least mine ;-)
And we started laughing because instead of saying stuff like, "Hey, remember that time we rappelled out of that helicopter in Montreal in the middle of the night to rescue those kidnapped agents and smuggled them out of the country through those unused tunnels that run under the lakes? hahah...yeah, good times..."
we would have this:
"Hey De, you remember that time we had tea and twinkies?"
(Yeah, when do we NOT have fuckin' tea and twinkies? Not that I'm complaining, just saying...)
OR
"Remember that time at the park when we were playing with the girls on the swings and then went to watch that penguin movie just so we could get out of the heat and into AC?"
(Because dangers abound at every push of the rusty tire swing? And dancing penguins are both cute AND educational, don't judge.)
Yeah. Not exactly spy shit there.
However, I started thinking - if we mixed it all together, we'd get something slightly more interesting...
*****************************************************************************************************
"Hey, remember that time we were having tea and twinkies?"
"Ooh, in Alaska? And it was like 3 a.m. but it looked like it was 3 p.m. because the sun never sets in the summer and yet somehow, it's still cold as shit?"
"Yeah, and then we got shot at by that Rambo-wanna-be your ex hired because you cleaned out his offshore account after you found out he was cheating on you with that transexual glamrock dude/chick?"
"Adam Lambert?"
"What? No. That's American Idol."
"Oh, right. I meant David Cook."
"Nooo, STILL American Idol. Stop mixing up the stories, we're talking about the assassin."
"...the one with the guy-liner and blue hair?"
(PAUSE)
"NO. THAT IS the glamrock guy. I'm talking about the hired assassin, pay attention! You know - the one who kept trying to shoot at us but he had really bad vision and kept missing and eventually shot his own foot because he thought it was a rabid raccoon when really it was just his own mismatched boot..."
"yeah yeah, the one who parachuted into the trees, landed on top of me, then got attacked by those fake ninjas!"
(LONGER PAUSE)
"That was from the movie, "Spies Like Us". And that wasn't YOU, that was Dan Akroyd!"
"Ooooh, right."
*SIGH*
"Cabin. Assassin. Coke-bottle glasses. Shitty aim. Dead birds?"
"Oh yeah. That guy was an asshole. And who hires an assassin with vertigo? Every time he thought he was shooting straight at us, he was actually leaning to the left and missed the whole damn cabin."
"And then he shot that penguin, instead."
"And then all his penguin buddies got pissed off and started chasing him and they all fell into that fishing hole..."
"Yeah, and then we had to eat the dead penguin because we were afraid the bears and wolves would smell blood and try to break into our cabin at night and eat US."
"Or turn us into were-wolves...or were-bears!"
"I know, right? I mean, it would probably hurt like hell. But at least then we could hang out at Sanctuary with all the cool were/dark-hunters, like Vane and Sasha and the Peltiers...and Ash! HA!"
"Yeah! And STEFAN!"
(PAUSE)
"Um, noooo. Stefan is from a different story. And he's a VAMPIRE. Fuckin' focus, gah!!"
"Oh, right. My bad."
*SIGH*
"Wait. Who was in Alaska?"
(SILENCE)
"Hey, so remember that time we went skeet shooting in Nepal and then had tea and twinkies after?"
*******************************************************************************************************
Yeah, I would make the shittiest spy, but I would have the best stories. Which really just evens it all out
** note: I "borrowed" the characters of Vane, Sasha, the Peltiers, and Ash (Acheron) from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter series (LOVE!), Stefan is a character in the Patricia Briggs Mercy Thompson book series (also LOVE!) And if you've read any of those books, you'd know why hanging out with any of them would be sooo cool.
And yes - I KNOW there are no penguins living in Alaska.
Unless they are were-penguins. heh
**
And we started laughing because instead of saying stuff like, "Hey, remember that time we rappelled out of that helicopter in Montreal in the middle of the night to rescue those kidnapped agents and smuggled them out of the country through those unused tunnels that run under the lakes? hahah...yeah, good times..."
we would have this:
"Hey De, you remember that time we had tea and twinkies?"
(Yeah, when do we NOT have fuckin' tea and twinkies? Not that I'm complaining, just saying...)
OR
"Remember that time at the park when we were playing with the girls on the swings and then went to watch that penguin movie just so we could get out of the heat and into AC?"
(Because dangers abound at every push of the rusty tire swing? And dancing penguins are both cute AND educational, don't judge.)
Yeah. Not exactly spy shit there.
However, I started thinking - if we mixed it all together, we'd get something slightly more interesting...
*****************************************************************************************************
"Hey, remember that time we were having tea and twinkies?"
"Ooh, in Alaska? And it was like 3 a.m. but it looked like it was 3 p.m. because the sun never sets in the summer and yet somehow, it's still cold as shit?"
"Yeah, and then we got shot at by that Rambo-wanna-be your ex hired because you cleaned out his offshore account after you found out he was cheating on you with that transexual glamrock dude/chick?"
"Adam Lambert?"
"What? No. That's American Idol."
"Oh, right. I meant David Cook."
"Nooo, STILL American Idol. Stop mixing up the stories, we're talking about the assassin."
"...the one with the guy-liner and blue hair?"
(PAUSE)
"NO. THAT IS the glamrock guy. I'm talking about the hired assassin, pay attention! You know - the one who kept trying to shoot at us but he had really bad vision and kept missing and eventually shot his own foot because he thought it was a rabid raccoon when really it was just his own mismatched boot..."
"yeah yeah, the one who parachuted into the trees, landed on top of me, then got attacked by those fake ninjas!"
(LONGER PAUSE)
"That was from the movie, "Spies Like Us". And that wasn't YOU, that was Dan Akroyd!"
"Ooooh, right."
*SIGH*
"Cabin. Assassin. Coke-bottle glasses. Shitty aim. Dead birds?"
"Oh yeah. That guy was an asshole. And who hires an assassin with vertigo? Every time he thought he was shooting straight at us, he was actually leaning to the left and missed the whole damn cabin."
"And then he shot that penguin, instead."
"And then all his penguin buddies got pissed off and started chasing him and they all fell into that fishing hole..."
"Yeah, and then we had to eat the dead penguin because we were afraid the bears and wolves would smell blood and try to break into our cabin at night and eat US."
"Or turn us into were-wolves...or were-bears!"
"I know, right? I mean, it would probably hurt like hell. But at least then we could hang out at Sanctuary with all the cool were/dark-hunters, like Vane and Sasha and the Peltiers...and Ash! HA!"
"Yeah! And STEFAN!"
(PAUSE)
"Um, noooo. Stefan is from a different story. And he's a VAMPIRE. Fuckin' focus, gah!!"
"Oh, right. My bad."
*SIGH*
"Wait. Who was in Alaska?"
(SILENCE)
"Hey, so remember that time we went skeet shooting in Nepal and then had tea and twinkies after?"
*******************************************************************************************************
Yeah, I would make the shittiest spy, but I would have the best stories. Which really just evens it all out
** note: I "borrowed" the characters of Vane, Sasha, the Peltiers, and Ash (Acheron) from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter series (LOVE!), Stefan is a character in the Patricia Briggs Mercy Thompson book series (also LOVE!) And if you've read any of those books, you'd know why hanging out with any of them would be sooo cool.
And yes - I KNOW there are no penguins living in Alaska.
Unless they are were-penguins. heh
**
Thursday, May 14, 2009
my weekend
I forgot to post this earlier. Because I am lame. But also kinda funny? This is actually what happened this past weekend...
SATURDAY:
1. Went longboarding with my brother and his wife, her brother and his wife, and her sister and her sister's husband...but not altogether because there were lots of kids there and we had to take turns watching them, but still...fun!
2. GOT SUNBURNED longboarding with brother and extended family because am dumb ass who clearly did not put on enough sunscreen...and actually FORGOT to put sunscreen on shoulders and neck altogether! Yeah, can you say SORE?! ugh
3. Only caught 2 frickin' waves all morning ( was in the water for about 2 hours altogether). TWO!! LAME!! I was paddling around so much (because I am impatient ) always trying to get to a better break that by the time I actually got there, I was too damn tired to paddle hard enough to actually get on the better waves that I had been waiting for! You would think I would know better by now, but can I just sit for a while and wait? NO. Because I am impatient. And that's what happens. You only get 2 damn waves. AND those two waves were so weak that by the time I popped up, I had about a 3 second ride before it completely fizzled out. Done. In wrong spot. Again. Paddle back out. FAIL. Crap...
4. Got yelled at by brother for not paddling hard enough to catch smaller waves ("WTF happened, De?!") Or for just looking at actual decent size waves as they got closer, instead of getting into position ("WTF, De?! RIGHT.THERE! GOOO!!") then let them go past because was too damn tired to even attempt to paddle. Enjoyed floating on 9'0" longboard and watching pretty waves go by...
5. Laughed at brother when same damn thing happened to him. HA!
6. Made brother PUSH me into small waves since he is way stronger than me and I have no shame (water shallow, only chest high to him...also too tired to paddle out into deeper water where some really nice sets were coming in. Am lazy ass who clearly needs regular exercise.)
7. Got mad at tourists on 10 foot foam boards catching frickin' EVERYTHING (does not count - foam boards flat! Stable! Almost impossible to fall off! Can ride ripples on 10 foot foam boards, agh!)
8. Gave stink eye to said tourists on 10 foot fat foam boards catching everything. Then watched brother's brother-in-law try 10 foot foam board. Caught everything. bastard...
9. May or may not have flashed 2 male tourists while playing around in the shorebreak and swimsuit top decided to not stay in place. Slightly embarrassed. The ocean hates me. FAIL. AGAIN.
10. Went rollerblading with Tanya and her girls (sort of - was kind of hot, so mostly just cruised around the rink) then had blended coffee drink and ice cream cupcake from Coldstone. Decided Coldstone cupcakes are the best food in the world...and also environmentally friendly for reasons that make total sense in my head. Score! FINALLY!
SUNDAY:
1. Slept till 8 am
2. Ate at breakfast buffet with friend. LOUD in the restaurant with all the mother's day talk going on, but food was good and live acoustic music soothing...and cute guitarist smiled when he caught me staring at him playing pretty song. Score again!
3. Decided to take nap since combination of sunburn, too much food, and lack of sleep the night before due to all the sugar in the environmentally friendly cupcake and blended coffee drink kept me pretty much wide awake till almost 1:30 a.m. Internal clock f*cked.
4. Watched History Channel playing shows on conspiracy theories...and Monster Quest. Am fascinated by conspiracy theories and monster stories. 4 hours pass. No nap. FAIL.
5. Checked all online accounts. Nothing bounced or got sent back. Is good day. Yea!
6. Facebooked and Myspaced for absolutely no reason except am online addict.
7. Bought Coke from McDs (needed caffeine). Cost of soda: $1.89. Time it took to drive to get soda (round trip): approx. 10 mins. Amount of soda actually drank: about 1/3 of medium size - rest of it sat in the cup while the ice melted, making it all flat and watery tasting, while I checked all online accounts and facebooked and myspaced. Lose money. Fail again.
8. Managed to respond to 2 Kentucky cousins about plans for coming home next month. Should all work out. Love when that happens. Have hope. Yea!
9. May have pulled muscle trying to rub in Solarcaine gel onto sore, sunburned area on back. Should have asked for help when brother came over to pick up mail, only brother is even MORE sunburned.
Score: TIED
10. Summary: managed to not do any chores, got sunburned, got moderate exercise, had too much caffeine, re-read half a DH novel (again), and am still watching The History Channel. And facebook-ing.
Had a great weekend. Woohoo! ;-)
SATURDAY:
1. Went longboarding with my brother and his wife, her brother and his wife, and her sister and her sister's husband...but not altogether because there were lots of kids there and we had to take turns watching them, but still...fun!
2. GOT SUNBURNED longboarding with brother and extended family because am dumb ass who clearly did not put on enough sunscreen...and actually FORGOT to put sunscreen on shoulders and neck altogether! Yeah, can you say SORE?! ugh
3. Only caught 2 frickin' waves all morning ( was in the water for about 2 hours altogether). TWO!! LAME!! I was paddling around so much (because I am impatient ) always trying to get to a better break that by the time I actually got there, I was too damn tired to paddle hard enough to actually get on the better waves that I had been waiting for! You would think I would know better by now, but can I just sit for a while and wait? NO. Because I am impatient. And that's what happens. You only get 2 damn waves. AND those two waves were so weak that by the time I popped up, I had about a 3 second ride before it completely fizzled out. Done. In wrong spot. Again. Paddle back out. FAIL. Crap...
4. Got yelled at by brother for not paddling hard enough to catch smaller waves ("WTF happened, De?!") Or for just looking at actual decent size waves as they got closer, instead of getting into position ("WTF, De?! RIGHT.THERE! GOOO!!") then let them go past because was too damn tired to even attempt to paddle. Enjoyed floating on 9'0" longboard and watching pretty waves go by...
5. Laughed at brother when same damn thing happened to him. HA!
6. Made brother PUSH me into small waves since he is way stronger than me and I have no shame (water shallow, only chest high to him...also too tired to paddle out into deeper water where some really nice sets were coming in. Am lazy ass who clearly needs regular exercise.)
7. Got mad at tourists on 10 foot foam boards catching frickin' EVERYTHING (does not count - foam boards flat! Stable! Almost impossible to fall off! Can ride ripples on 10 foot foam boards, agh!)
8. Gave stink eye to said tourists on 10 foot fat foam boards catching everything. Then watched brother's brother-in-law try 10 foot foam board. Caught everything. bastard...
9. May or may not have flashed 2 male tourists while playing around in the shorebreak and swimsuit top decided to not stay in place. Slightly embarrassed. The ocean hates me. FAIL. AGAIN.
10. Went rollerblading with Tanya and her girls (sort of - was kind of hot, so mostly just cruised around the rink) then had blended coffee drink and ice cream cupcake from Coldstone. Decided Coldstone cupcakes are the best food in the world...and also environmentally friendly for reasons that make total sense in my head. Score! FINALLY!
SUNDAY:
1. Slept till 8 am
2. Ate at breakfast buffet with friend. LOUD in the restaurant with all the mother's day talk going on, but food was good and live acoustic music soothing...and cute guitarist smiled when he caught me staring at him playing pretty song. Score again!
3. Decided to take nap since combination of sunburn, too much food, and lack of sleep the night before due to all the sugar in the environmentally friendly cupcake and blended coffee drink kept me pretty much wide awake till almost 1:30 a.m. Internal clock f*cked.
4. Watched History Channel playing shows on conspiracy theories...and Monster Quest. Am fascinated by conspiracy theories and monster stories. 4 hours pass. No nap. FAIL.
5. Checked all online accounts. Nothing bounced or got sent back. Is good day. Yea!
6. Facebooked and Myspaced for absolutely no reason except am online addict.
7. Bought Coke from McDs (needed caffeine). Cost of soda: $1.89. Time it took to drive to get soda (round trip): approx. 10 mins. Amount of soda actually drank: about 1/3 of medium size - rest of it sat in the cup while the ice melted, making it all flat and watery tasting, while I checked all online accounts and facebooked and myspaced. Lose money. Fail again.
8. Managed to respond to 2 Kentucky cousins about plans for coming home next month. Should all work out. Love when that happens. Have hope. Yea!
9. May have pulled muscle trying to rub in Solarcaine gel onto sore, sunburned area on back. Should have asked for help when brother came over to pick up mail, only brother is even MORE sunburned.
Score: TIED
10. Summary: managed to not do any chores, got sunburned, got moderate exercise, had too much caffeine, re-read half a DH novel (again), and am still watching The History Channel. And facebook-ing.
Had a great weekend. Woohoo! ;-)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Here's to the crazy ones...
Because this is one of the best advertisements I've ever seen and even though it's old (original ad out in 1997, I believe), it's worth resurrecting. Apple Computer, Inc.'s "think different" slogan:
The slogan can be viewed by clicking on the youtube link and reading the information to the right of the video...it also lists all the people shown in the video in order of their appearance. But because it bears repeating, here it is:
Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
We see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world,
Are the ones who do.
I love when people think outside the box....here's to you!
The slogan can be viewed by clicking on the youtube link and reading the information to the right of the video...it also lists all the people shown in the video in order of their appearance. But because it bears repeating, here it is:
Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
We see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world,
Are the ones who do.
I love when people think outside the box....here's to you!
Monday, March 2, 2009
cognizant contradictions
I believe that the sanest of people sometimes say the craziest things and that certifiably crazy people sometimes makes the most sense. And that I may be one of those people...in both instances.
I don't believe in reincarnation. I also believe that in a previous life, I could have been a Highlander (complete with billowing trench coat, celtic broad sword, and spidey senses)
I think that the Tooth Fairy is a shameless bandit and that a tooth should be worth at least five bucks instead of some loose change, that if all aliens looked like Travis Fimmel nobody would ever again fear world domination, and that at the end of the rainbow, instead of a pot of gold there is a barrel with a never-ending supply of Twinkies.
Sometimes I miss the days when I knew a dish towel tied around your neck made you a super hero, that slippers worn on your hands instead of your feet somehow made you aerodynamic, and that wonder twin powers really could be activated by ruby red Ring Pops.
I don't believe in the Boogeyman or the Monster in the Closet, but I do believe in the Thing Under the Bed. Which is why to this day, I cannot sleep without my feet being tucked safely under the covers, even though I know in my rational adult mind none of it is actually real. Still, just in case...
I believe that if there really are aliens, they are slowly but surely taking over the world one reality TV show at a time. (and I sort of blame Alec Balwin and that "Hulu" thing...)
I also think it's more ridiculous to believe that aliens don't exist than to believe that even though we are only one race of beings on one planet in one solar system of billions, we are the only forms of intelligent life.
I think contradictions can absolutely exist in a rational world and because of that, I also believe in The Theory of Evolution, Adam and Eve, Pac Man, Guitar Hero, black auras, going "green", free speech, paid programming, 700 page novels, 32 GB ipods, Wicca, Christianity, The King James Bible, The Microsoft Access Bible, Stephen King, Stephen Colbert, The Cat in the Hat, President Obama, Edward Cullen, and The Great Pumpkin. (Amen)
Most days I believe we control our own destiny, that fate is a fable created to entertain hopeless romantics, and that "the crossroads" only exist to lend credence to an old myth about a scary lady with three heads and absolutely no sense of direction. And some days, I believe Dean Koontz when he said "...each of us, depending on the faith we embrace, continues to survive either by the merciful sufferance of God, or at the whim of blind chance and indifferent nature."
These things I know for sure: I intake way too much caffeine and red meat and not enough Vitamin C, I swear more than is absolutely necessary or appropriate, that being "appropriate" is sometimes really annoying, and on any given day, the only things I adore with absolute certainty are my yellow duckie pen and David Archuleta.
I believe that thoughts are living things, that we often times get what we ask for whether we actually wanted it or not, and that there are good angels and fallen angels all around us and names hold power, so be careful who you call to and what you wish for...it just might come to you.
Sometimes I think people are afraid to speak their mind because they are afraid of offending others and in turn, of being alone. I don't think this is cowardly, but I do think it's a sad waste of time. Which is why I think Carlos Mencia, his racially centered but completely honest and hilarious comedy, and "if you ain't laughing, you ain't living" motto are awesome, because sometimes? Pointing out our differences just reinforces the fact that life is simultaneously entertaining and frustrating, and that God has a great sense of humor.
I think wishing on shooting stars is as arbitrary as scrying in your morning Starbucks selection, that people who say TV turns your brain to mush are obviously not watching NCIS or The Daily Show, and that sometimes all you really need is to say "screw it" and do what you want to do instead of what you feel others think you should do. Because you only live once (unless you believe in that whole reincarnation thing and also think you may have been a Highlander...)
I believe in magic and the power of prayer, and that it's perfectly acceptable to have faith in both at the same time.
I really do want world peace, to own a Martin acoustic guitar even though I'd probably just look at it more than I would ever play it, and to have my very own Vane (and if you don't know who that is or why I want one, I believe you really should start reading some Sherrilyn Kenyon. Seriously.)
**I also believe if you made it through this whole post, you deserve some of those shiny gold stars. Go get some. And while you're at it, get me some coffee??
I don't believe in reincarnation. I also believe that in a previous life, I could have been a Highlander (complete with billowing trench coat, celtic broad sword, and spidey senses)
I think that the Tooth Fairy is a shameless bandit and that a tooth should be worth at least five bucks instead of some loose change, that if all aliens looked like Travis Fimmel nobody would ever again fear world domination, and that at the end of the rainbow, instead of a pot of gold there is a barrel with a never-ending supply of Twinkies.
Sometimes I miss the days when I knew a dish towel tied around your neck made you a super hero, that slippers worn on your hands instead of your feet somehow made you aerodynamic, and that wonder twin powers really could be activated by ruby red Ring Pops.
I don't believe in the Boogeyman or the Monster in the Closet, but I do believe in the Thing Under the Bed. Which is why to this day, I cannot sleep without my feet being tucked safely under the covers, even though I know in my rational adult mind none of it is actually real. Still, just in case...
I believe that if there really are aliens, they are slowly but surely taking over the world one reality TV show at a time. (and I sort of blame Alec Balwin and that "Hulu" thing...)
I also think it's more ridiculous to believe that aliens don't exist than to believe that even though we are only one race of beings on one planet in one solar system of billions, we are the only forms of intelligent life.
I think contradictions can absolutely exist in a rational world and because of that, I also believe in The Theory of Evolution, Adam and Eve, Pac Man, Guitar Hero, black auras, going "green", free speech, paid programming, 700 page novels, 32 GB ipods, Wicca, Christianity, The King James Bible, The Microsoft Access Bible, Stephen King, Stephen Colbert, The Cat in the Hat, President Obama, Edward Cullen, and The Great Pumpkin. (Amen)
Most days I believe we control our own destiny, that fate is a fable created to entertain hopeless romantics, and that "the crossroads" only exist to lend credence to an old myth about a scary lady with three heads and absolutely no sense of direction. And some days, I believe Dean Koontz when he said "...each of us, depending on the faith we embrace, continues to survive either by the merciful sufferance of God, or at the whim of blind chance and indifferent nature."
These things I know for sure: I intake way too much caffeine and red meat and not enough Vitamin C, I swear more than is absolutely necessary or appropriate, that being "appropriate" is sometimes really annoying, and on any given day, the only things I adore with absolute certainty are my yellow duckie pen and David Archuleta.
I believe that thoughts are living things, that we often times get what we ask for whether we actually wanted it or not, and that there are good angels and fallen angels all around us and names hold power, so be careful who you call to and what you wish for...it just might come to you.
Sometimes I think people are afraid to speak their mind because they are afraid of offending others and in turn, of being alone. I don't think this is cowardly, but I do think it's a sad waste of time. Which is why I think Carlos Mencia, his racially centered but completely honest and hilarious comedy, and "if you ain't laughing, you ain't living" motto are awesome, because sometimes? Pointing out our differences just reinforces the fact that life is simultaneously entertaining and frustrating, and that God has a great sense of humor.
I think wishing on shooting stars is as arbitrary as scrying in your morning Starbucks selection, that people who say TV turns your brain to mush are obviously not watching NCIS or The Daily Show, and that sometimes all you really need is to say "screw it" and do what you want to do instead of what you feel others think you should do. Because you only live once (unless you believe in that whole reincarnation thing and also think you may have been a Highlander...)
I believe in magic and the power of prayer, and that it's perfectly acceptable to have faith in both at the same time.
I really do want world peace, to own a Martin acoustic guitar even though I'd probably just look at it more than I would ever play it, and to have my very own Vane (and if you don't know who that is or why I want one, I believe you really should start reading some Sherrilyn Kenyon. Seriously.)
**I also believe if you made it through this whole post, you deserve some of those shiny gold stars. Go get some. And while you're at it, get me some coffee??
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