Thursday, February 25, 2010

deconstructing the art of randomness

I love the sound of the Latin language, especially when it's chanted.

I think everybody should chant in Latin. All the time. And it should always begin with "Carpe Cheesecake"

I think people who are overly fashion forward look like they just got punk'd...and still don't get it.

People are always going places...to the beach, to the store, to the top... I'm still not sure what all the fascination is with movement.

I am a fan of fanning.

Anthropomorphic is my new favorite word. Because it makes me sound smart. Just like an anthropomorph.

I enjoy being in the grey area of the spectrum

I'd like to get back into lap swimming but the inertia is kicking my ass.

All these phone calls are interrupting my fantasies about Randy Orton. I wish they would just stop.

The phone calls, not the fantasies. *sigh*

I wish I followed football so that I could go to football parties and not be the only completely clueless idiot there.

I can't watch football. Too many rules + too much "stop and go" = no parties. .
There's always something...

I need more books.

I need more cheesecake.

I need more focus (not on books or cheesecake)

The National Geographic channel pretty much rules. I mean, where else can you learn about desert dwelling tribes, 500 year old Italians vampires, and naked praying pagans back to back? Nat Geo, baby!

I am rather enjoying hedonism. Which is sort of like Paganism. Without all that naked praying stuff.

I think I watch too much TV...in fact, I'm pretty sure I do.

According to the Discovery Channel, dragonflies have such tiny brains that they are unable to process and analyze data like other animals (I know people like that). The reason they can fly in huge swarms and not hit each other is because they operate on instinct and reaction rather than thought. (I know people like that, too...minus the flying part)

Whoever said that TV rots your brain is a damn liar.

I've realized that my dream of being a professional world traveler is directly relational to the number of rich, unattached friends I have who are willing to take the journey with me.

I think I need new friends.

Or perhaps my relational skills are starting to fail me. *sigh* I blame the Nat Geo Channel.

You remind me of the babe. (What babe?) The babe with the power. (What power?) The power of voodoo. (Who do?) You do. (Do what?) Remind me of the babe.

No, I still don't know who the babe is.

Stupid call for the day:
CALLER: Yes, hello? I'm here (in the lobby) for my appointment.
ME: Okaaaay...
CALLER: So...should I come up?
ME: *OH.MY.GOD. Noooooo, stay down there. We'll tie a couple of tin cans together with some string, throw one out the window, and communicate that way.*
Yes, please. Third floor.
CALLER: How do I get there?
ME: *pause* THE ELEVATOR. Or the stairs, if you prefer.
CALLER: It says the elevator out of order.
ME: Fine. Then take the stairs.
CALLER: Third floor?
me: YESSS.
CALLER: I cannot take the stairs.
ME: *this should be good* Why not?
CALLER: My elbow hurts.
ME: *are you fuckin' serious?!*
Huh? What does that have to do with WALKING up the stairs?
CALLER: oh, because it hurts that's why, so I cannot walk...
ME: *because you're doing it on your fuckin' elbow?!*
Maybe you'd like to go back home (and start your day over) and call us when you're feeling a little better.
CALLER: Oh yeah. Because then no need stairs.
ME: Riiight. No need stairs...

* Although I suppose this IS slightly better than the guy who wanted to sue McDonalds because they gave him orange juice with too much PULP. I am so not cut out jobs requiring proper telephone etiquette*

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