Fundamentals

So Naomi gave me a great idea for a new blog topic – writing about the "fundamentals". Actually, she got the idea from a book (and a website called "Daily Candy"), but I thought it was great! I actually wrote one something like this a while ago called "The Tao of De" but this is a better and newer version. (okay maybe not so much better, but definitely newer).

Basically, it's a compilation of stuff I believe in and have learned either through my own experiences or from books or other people. It's all about doing things to try to be happy and live better. Hopefully, if nothing else, I have inspired my own self to do more of this…

· Have a cup of green tea every now and then.
It's warm and soothing and comforting and healthy. It's like a liquid hug

· Get in touch with old friends...people you actually liked but somehow managed to lose contact with over the years...it's a wonderful feeling to reconnect. (Hi Naomi! Hi Jacob! )

· Don't let other people determine your self worth.
As Dave Chapelle once said, the world can't tell you who you are, you have to figure it out and then just be there. Do, experience, fail, accomplish, move forward no matter what other people may think of you for doing so. Stand for something...stand out in the crowd...stand up for your own self.

· REMEMBER THE PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER YOU
Even if it's just with a few simple words. People appreciate more than we give them credit for. Don't just SAY you care, BE PRESENT in the lives of the people you care about.

• Pray. Not only for what you need, but for what you already have. Be thankful.
  

· Have no regrets.
There's no point. We are only human - we will make mistakes and hurt each other, intentionally or not. But the great thing about life is that it has a way of working itself out, and God will never disappoint or fail you and that's all you really need to know.
"Nothing you have even done is too much for the mercy of God" - Joel Osteen

· Even if you can't forget, learn to forgive, no matter how long it might take.
Letting go is essential to being happy.

· Read fiction.
Forgetting about the problems of the world and your own life and immersing yourself in another, even if just for an hour or so every week, helps lift that fog of despair and the melancholy feeling we all sometimes experience. Besides, books sometimes teach great problem solving skills.
I'm a HUGE fan of escapism

· Give to charity. Any charitable cause. Several if you can...with your time and or money.
There shouldn't need to be an explanation for this one...

· Write
Journals, blogs, poetry, music...even if nobody ever reads or hears it, do it for yourself. We all need "outlets" or ways to release emotions in a healthy way. In my opinion, there's no better or more beautiful way to do that than through written words.

· Whenever possible, look people in the eye when you say "I'm sorry", "I missed you", "I love you".
It DOES matter.

· Do not agree to or insist on something you don't feel.
Besides, a liar need a good memory and most of us just aren't that good at it.

· Laugh at yourself
Because if you can dish it out, you sure as hell better be able to take it.
A sense of humor is a wonderful and important thing to have - be your own fan

· Find a "happy place"
Whether it's an actual place or particular hobby, memory, or favorite item (like my yellow duckie pen) - find something that will make you smile when you really can't see any other reason to do so. It's amazing how such simple things can make a huge difference.

· Conquer one thing that scares you. Get over yourself.
Because as Eddie says, sometimes you just have to look life square in the eye and say, "f**k you, biatch!!"
Uh-huh. Thanks, Eddie

· Remember that "definitions are for the definers, not the defined"
You will never be able to please everyone, and this is where my favorite Dr. Seuss quote comes into play:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

· Engage in random acts of kindness. Because it's just how we should be.
Nuff said.

· Give into guilty pleasures every now and then.
Buy yourself flowers (or jewelry), take an overpriced vacation with your friends or family, take naps in the afternoon, shop at Victoria's Secret, lounge around all day in your pajamas and have nothing but cheesecake and wine...you only live once. Unwind. ENJOY.

· Advise. Comfort. Support. But do not tell people how they should live their lives.
Unless you know every thought, feeling and experience someone has ever had, you DO NOT know them better than they know themselves. Let it be enough to run your own life and let other people live theirs.

· Don't be so quick to judge; befriend people who are different.
It helps us to become more open minded, humorous, considerate, thoughtful, better people.

· Stop keeping score. Unless you're playing a sport or board game.
Karma will take care of it for you.
"Keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away"

· Take a dance class, if just once.
Do something that makes you uncomfortable - you learn more about yourself that way and if you are able to overcome it, you create more opportunity for friendship and personal growth.

· Listen to old people when they talk. They have the best stories and can offer some great advice. You can learn a lot from people with more experience and knowledge. Plus, sometimes all they need is company, so it's really a win-win situation.

· Listen to children when they talk, even when they sometimes ask too many questions. All they want is to learn and know that you care. As they get older, you'll see why it was so incredibly important to do so.

· Find something active you enjoy as exercise and do it.
(I SWEAR I'm going to start doing Budokan again starting January...no, for real this time )

· Teach yourself
As they say, expand your horizons...it's never too late to try something new.

· There ARE such things as random tangents. Have them.
It's okay to be creative or eclectic. Embrace your inner dork

· Learn to appreciate different cultures, music, language...
It makes you a better conversationalist and through it, you meet some pretty engaging and interesting people.

· Have REAL heroes.
Whether it be a parent, a teacher, someone serving in the armed forces, the lifeguard at your favorite beach...have faith in and respect for the people who sacrifice something of themselves for your safety, comfort, education, well being. It helps you set priorities straight and see what's really important in life.

· Apologize for things you know you did wrong.
BUT NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING YOURSELF

· Time is something you will never get back. Say what needs to be said. Do what needs to be done. Today. Play, laugh, learn, love, fall, forgive…cherish experiences and the people you create them with because in the end, the only things we take with us are memories. Make some great ones.