I still remember which stars are ours

Today I watched a movie called, Evening. It stars (as the movie jacket states) some of the greatest actresses of our time: Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Vanessa Redgrave, Toni Collette, Claire Danes, Natasha Richardson...and it's brilliant.

It's a simple story. One that some people might not care much to see because of it's simplicity. At least in style, if not script.
It's a story that's missing the hype and Hollywood drama, missing the big budget and special effects and the $20 million a picture actors who command the screen amongst all the hype and drama. Instead, it's simply a story about family and chances and moments that give us the opportunity to dream, succeed, be happy. And how all of that builds upon each other to create a life that we hope we look back on with fondness.

It's a story that's partly set in the early 1950s and partly in the present day, and pans back and forth between the two in order to tell the story of a woman named Anne .....a mother, free spirit, two time divorcee, and would be singer. A woman who is now old, very ill and at the end of her life, looking back and remembering people she had never before talked about with her children. And that leads her daughters to wonder about the mother they never completely knew or understood, and what truly makes a life...and happiness.

But more so, it's a story about the loves and friendships we carry with us through an entire lifetime. And how things have a way of coming full circle.
You see that in part between Anne and her best friend, Lila, towards the beginning of the story when they're in their early 20s and Lila is getting married, and Anne offers to save her from herself and a potential mistake, the way any good friend would. And then again when they are old women and Anne is slowly fading away.
After Lila's wedding, the two lose touch - for reasons that are made clear in the movie - and are apart for decades. But towards the end of Anne's life, Lila gets a call from Anne's nurse telling her that Anne is very ill, and she immediately goes to her.
Lila walks into the room and you see these two old women who have been missing from each others lives for so many years and yet when Anne opens her eyes and sees Lila, the years all seem to disappear. Lila climbs into bed with Anne, cradles her and whispers, "there there. la la la...", exactly the way Anne had done with Lila the day of her wedding when she was confused and unsure, when all she needed was the comforting touch of her friend.
And you see in that mirrored moment, that some bonds can never really be broken even by time, or what we sometimes look back on as mistakes.
It's about the kind of friendship where things don't always have to be said, but are always understood...and that sometimes all you need is to know that you are remembered and forgiven.

Most importantly, it's a story about love and holding on.
The love that you settle for because it's comforting and expected.
The kind of relationship that's more about appearance and status and in pleasing the family who would rather see you in a relationship that gives you stability instead of one that your heart is already in.
And in this sense, it's also about sacrificing the love you need for the mediocrity you are willing to accept to please others.
And how that affects and carries with you.

And then there's the remarkable kind of love that you spend a weekend....a month...a summer creating but remember always. The kind of memory that you never really share with others - with those who would never understand your reasons for being temporarily insane and unreasonable and incredibly happy.
The kind of love that etches itself onto your soul...that comes back to you in your last moments when you are looking back and realize eveything that was truly important.

In the movie, young Anne meets a charming doctor (Harris) who upon first meeting, offers to take her for a sail. She doesn't go, but does share a fleeting romance with Harris, who she never forgets.
Among other things said and done during their brief time together, Harris picks out stars in the sky that he declares are for them - to look up at and remember how they felt when they were together.
After parting ways - for somewhat complicated reasons also made known in the story - they both go on to marry others and have children of their own.
But one chance meeting years later, they bump into each other on the street and you realize that no matter how many years have gone by and despite the fact that they now love other people, there is something that will always be between them. And maybe there is a reason for that - for the memory that short but remarkable period of time created for both of them.
As they are parting, after having a brief conversation, Harris leans in and says to Anne, "Can I tell you something?"
"I still remember which stars are ours."

It's a poignant moment in the rain as they shake hands, smile through tears, and walk away from each other for the last time.
And in the end, Anne finally gets to take that sail, and you can only smile and hope Harris is on that boat with her.

The story of Anne's life is a beautiful journey. One that's well written and wonderfully performed by each actor perfectly choosen for their respective roles.
And I think its beauty comes from a story about how there are no mistakes. And that it's okay, because as Lila states towards the end of the movie,
"We are mysterious creatures, aren't we?
And at the end, so much of it turns out not to matter."

And if that's true, in the end, maybe all that really matters IS the love and friendships we take with us.